Fishing Hijinks

[salty-dog]

Anyone have any to share??

Yesterday, I took a friend out for his first ever salt water fishing adventure. Spent several hours out teaching him about different methods of fishing, lures, what to look for to find the fish and whatnot... overall, a pretty good day. Made our limits.

But, when the boy { 17 years old} caught his first fish {ever- salt or fresh }, I told him he was 1/3 of the way to officiating losing his salt water virginity. He asked what he had to do to get the other 2/3's. I took his fish, a nice rockfish, and told him that he had to get slimed properly by a fish slap. He asked if I was really going to slap him with it and I said "well, yea". He closed his eyes and I smacked him with it. I could hardly keep from laughing as I boldly told him he has to get slapped on the other side too. I smacked him again. He was all kinds of proud as he is no longer a "salt virgin". The rest of the day, I said nothing more about it.

Back on the hill and at home, my wife asked how the trip went and if the boy caught anything. He announced loud and proud he lost his salt virginity status and told her that he caught fish and was officially slapped twice. She started laughing at him and asked if he really fell for that "line of crap". He looked at me and asked if I really had to slap him with the fish and I smiled and said "not at all".

 

[Finished Business]

Trolling after countless hours in Rivers Inlet, it was my turn on the rod. The day was biteless, so I was on edge, ready to commit to any rod that bumped. I was at the stern, with the captain and a mate in the front seats. The boat had a pass through windshield and we had 3 bow rods rolling some of the fattest cut plugs we could find. All of a sudden, my eyes fixed on the bow, the starboard side bow rod jumped and started banging....hard. A big strike!!

With the agility of a mountain lion, and the speed of a Jamaican Sprinter, I flew from my stoop, moving at a blurr of speed to the bow rod. If man or material stood in my way, they would have gone flying!! Grabbing the bow rod, I set the hook.....and.....nothing. No head-shake, no nothing. At that point the cabin erupted in laughter. The captain, holding the main line in one hand, splitting at the sides.
He had snuck the mainline through the starboard helm window and was tugging at it aggressively, simulating the monster I had hoped would be on the end of the line.

I slumped over at the bow, my life in shambles.

To this day, he knows vengeance is coming, two years later I have yet to execute my revenge. But it's coming. It IS coming.

 

[crab bait]

If you are out with the boys (in more than one boat), you can "rename" the competitior boat with black electricians tape or duct tape. This only works if you are tied up to a dock for the night, or moored at a marina. Put the new name in big black letters up towards the bow above the water line on your buddies boat.

How often do you actually look at the white outside of your boat? Probably never when it's in the water.

All the other boats can see the new "name" but the guys in the boat usually can't. Be creative, be dirty, pornographic?

It takes them a long time to figure out why they are getting laughed at by all the other boats on the water. (remember though, payback can be a bi***)

 

[trophywife]

always eat the heart of your first tyee. this is gross, watched a Edmonton eskimos cheerleader munch one down, blood running down her chin and a few gags later.. done... then we told her no one had ever done it before.


and yes i have...

 

[Aces]

I did this once back in the early 90's to a real big mouth that was full of himself and i was severely impaired. A buddy and i climbed thru the window of his hotel room in Silva Bay, grabbed his hardy rod/reel setup, pulled about 100ft of line off the reel and bit halfway thru it.

1st fish he hooked the line broke real easy.Between that and his bad hangover he didn't have much to say that day.

 

[searun]

That is funny Shaun, reminds me of a certain super competitive guy in our fishing club on a derby weekend for steelhead on the Squamish. While he was more than a little lit up on rum and cokes we were feeding him, we grabbed his leader board and ran a knife across all his leaders. Next day sporting a nice hang over he too seemed to be having great difficulty busting off fish. Much to our delight and laughter. After about fish number 3, and our endless laughing he checked all his "fresh" leaders. Can't repeat the blue lingo that followed....only his famous..."Bengie, get in the raft!" as he loaded his dog and rowed off. Derby knows of whom I speak.

 

[Dorman Point]

When I take someone prawning for the first time, they're usually interested in the process from setting up the traps to picking a spot. I get them to help bait the traps with pellets (topped with a scoop of cat-food). Then, when their hands are good and stinky and they start asking what the pellets are made of, I tell them that, to be properly initiated, they have to eat 4 pellets. I keep a poker face and insist it's a right-of-passage.

I stop them just as they've scrunched their face up, squinted their eyes shut and are about to pop the 4 pellets into their mouth.

 

[high tide]

Gibsons Fire fighters derby years ago ....... Buddy forgets his anchor ..... so he ties off my stern by a hundred feet or so. One over served fisher is passed out on the bow with rod right above him. I slowly draw them in with rope, take his line and push him off while not making a sound on the reel. Their boat settles in back a hundred feet, I crab that line and start rippin it in like a TYEE headed for Japan ..... Dude wakes up grabs his rod and screams FISH ON ! only to finally catch up and see us laughing are heads off .... his line to my hands ! Got em good, BEST thing is it worked again an hour later LOL ! What a MAROOOON as BUGS used to say!

 

[IronNoggin]

Have literally hundreds over the years...

Brown's Bay Chum Derby a few years back...
During the night, Someone wandered the docks, carefully planting the Dreaded Bananas on most of the competition's rigs, including mine.
After we found them, we pondered heavily on just who that someone might be. Narrowed it down to 3 distinct possibilities.
Not wanting to miss the real target, decided to Pay Back them all...

That night, we took a dozen whole bananas, glycerin, and a handful of other noxious products, and pureed it all together in the blender until a fine "paste" was formed. Dumped the mix into a spray bottle, and sneak down to the boats at 1:30 am. Each possibility got their cannonballs WELL "painted", and a couple of good squirts to the downrigger lines for good measure. One of our crew then decided that to "help them" a little more, he would apply X-10 to all of the downrigger release clips on their boats...

The morning broke warm and dry, so the "paint" was fairly well dried out and adhering well. Was a HOOT to watch these Ladz try to set their lines over and over and over... only to have the release spit the line within seconds each and every time. They obviously thought The Bite was ON, and they simply weren't hooking up. LOL!
Maybe the bananas, or maybe something else in the mix... None of the three did catch any fish until very late in the day, when presumably the effects had washed off.

Never did find out just who the someone was. But rest easy knowing full well that they were literally In The Mix...

Cheers,
Nog

 

[rapid]

The standard on my boat for a Greenhorn, tell him "you pull the first 4 prawn traps I'll pull the rest". Then after teasing them about how slow they pulled them (by hand), do the rest with the trap puller.

 

[IronNoggin]

From the Commercial Files...

Years ago Area G Troll used to work Alberni sockeye. One of those seasons I was riding with a good Buddy, and got to watch a "Hi-jink" of awesome proportions:

The crew from one rig had taken a sudden and intense dislike for the deckhand on another. I knew the latter, he was actually a pretty straight shooter - hard working, strong, intelligent and at times hard playing. The former were know Chit-Disturbers as is often the case...

Words were exchanged across the pond from time to time, but the fellow I knew kept it downright tame.

As the case in most sockeye troll situations, the boats were running 30 pieces of gear per line, six lines a boat, for a total of 180 pieces of gear deployed...

Second evening, I got up to take a whizz about 1:30 am. Heard a little noise, and turned to witness the fellow I knew quietly rowing his boat's skiff towards the offending party's rig. HUH? This is likely to be interesting! Grabbed the binoc's for a closer view of what I figured was going to be a Deck War...

Upon reaching the other party's boat, the deckhand silently slipped over their stern into the cockpit. Took a spell to realize what he was up to even with the binoc's on him. I giggled as I realized he was cheerfully clipping all the hootchies from their tethers, the flashers from their clips, and quietly stacking each into separate not-so-little piles. Mission accomplished, he then returned to his own rig for what I presumed to be a quiet night's rest.

The SCREAMS of Frustration from the targeted boat began before first light, and carried on well into the morning. When they awoke, there was their gear alright, all stacked as if for storage! Took them over 2 hours to get it back into working condition, and of course by then the morning bite was over.

The ensuing battle at the local pub that followed was nothing less than EPIC! The three men off the boat that had been targeted ganged up on the Lad I knew, with intent to beat him senseless. Instead, they got another Lesson In Humility as he competently laid all three to the deck in a matter of seconds!

Just another lesson why it is wise NOT to Eff with the Quiet Ones!

Cheers,
Nog

 

[fishin_magician]

Great Story.

A few fun things I have seen---lots of bananas stories!

(1) A junior guide who was getting razzed and picked on..taking a leak into a certain senior guides bait boxes and a couple of us juniors watching the senior guide use those bait boxes all morning being none the wiser......we cut plugged at the time at that lodge...so all the large herring was wet brined with copious amounts if salt. We couldn't stop laughing all morning.

(2) Bananas being hidden board the offending guides boat and being found at random throughout the morning shift of fishing. It started with a Bananas being put in each of his bait box.

(3) All Bait boxes being removed from the guides boat after and placed in his best buddies boat. Upon arrival at the fishing grounds 20 minutes away, the guide found he had NO BAIT. A funny radio call later, his bait boxes were returned by his buddies boat.

(4) A certain guide had the fastest boat on the dock by far and had a nasty habit of screaming past the junior guides at close range and sometimes whipping a banana into the boat as they blasted past. Well, a certain guide, ahem, pulled the cowlings on his twin big horse outboards that night, took off all the plug wires and left a banana under each cowling before replacing them. in the morning, the guide came down with his guests and figured out he had been sabotaged and in 3 minutes found out exactly what the issue was. The guests nearly fell off the dock howling with laughter. LOL lol lol.

 

[tubber]

It was always wise to check the radar eye glare cover(forget the name of it) for sticky and sometimes sticky and stinky substances before looking in when taking over the helm in the middle of the night on long runs on some boats.

 

[stones93]

On a friends boat who had invited a guy from Scotland (fair skinned red head). He had never been salmon fishing before. We started trolling along the west Van shoreline when he (white as a ghost skin) pulls out his sun block. I asked him if that was "special fishing sunblock?" He was puzzled and said he wasn't sure, he had brought it from home. I told him that you needed "special" sun screen on our water, so I handed him my bottle. After smearing it on his face and arms, he scrunched his face and exclaimed that "your sunscreen seems a little off". With a puzzled look, I took the bottle and read it to him "bloody tuna scent". We made him stay down wind the rest of the day!