At Last, A Plan That WORKS!!!

[Bassblaster]

Got this from my kid tonight. Thought I would share!!


Works for me!!!!

Dear Prime Minister,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the CANADIAN economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about Ten million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them $ 2 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Canadian? car
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!


Also:
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell..

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay $400.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Also:
Think about this ..... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of CANADA to speak up!

 

[Little Hawk]

******' priceless!

 

[Clipper]

You might want to check your math (and I might be off here as well) but $10 million time $2 million ($10,000,000 X $2,000,000) is not a couple of billion it is $20 trillion ($20,000,000,000,000) which is about the value of all the companies listed on the worlds stock markets.

I appreciate the sentiment in the post and agree with it but the numbers don't make sense.

 

[pescador]

As a matter of interest, the Canadian Government has never given money to the banks. Lets ensure the message is accurate. We're not part of TARP..... BTW, If the banks aren't doing well, you and I have got big problems. Just ask any of the PIGS in Europe. People need to understand that banks aren't the enemy. This constant pounding message about how bad banks are isn't fair. They put meals on the table for hundreds of thousands of families in this country......................................................................................... "Ole Vic says....Just one mans view"....

 

[chris73]

And while we are at it: retiring everyone over 50 would literally shut down our entire economy. To think that a bunch of collage grads could seamlessly replace all workers with 25 years of experience is plain and simple stupid.

 

[Bassblaster]

I don't think that this was intended to actually be serious guys, but you have to admit when you look at the second part regarding retiries and criminals that our priorities seem to be a bit sideways.

 

[Englishman]

You might want to check your math (and I might be off here as well) but $10 million time $2 million ($10,000,000 X $2,000,000) is not a couple of billion it is $20 trillion ($20,000,000,000,000) which is about the value of all the companies listed on the worlds stock markets.

I appreciate the sentiment in the post and agree with it but the numbers don't make sense.

Your numbers are perfectly correct Clipper, so the author has founded his humour on complete mathematical nonsense. Two billion divided by 10 million is only $200 apiece! Which just goes to prove that despite the wishful thinking of humanity there are no simple solutions to very large and very complex problems......!