Tell Your Best Joke

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Sotally Tober said:
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True story:
I was with my wife like 10 years ago at a salad bar and there was a 350lb lady loading her plate up with cheese, bacon and croutons etc. Just all stuff that got her there. She also had one small piece of broccoli on the side. Her phone rang and she answered “what’s up girl?… just gettin’ my veggies!”
wifey and I still quote that to this day.
 
Stizzla said:
True story:
I was with my wife like 10 years ago at a salad bar and there was a 350lb lady loading her plate up with cheese, bacon and croutons etc. Just all stuff that got her there. She also had one small piece of broccoli on the side. Her phone rang and she answered “what’s up girl?… just gettin’ my veggies!”
wifey and I still quote that to this day.
Click to expand...
that’s my wife you jerk! ;)
 
Stizzla said:
True story:
I was with my wife like 10 years ago at a salad bar and there was a 350lb lady loading her plate up with cheese, bacon and croutons etc. Just all stuff that got her there. She also had one small piece of broccoli on the side. Her phone rang and she answered “what’s up girl?… just gettin’ my veggies!”
wifey and I still quote that to this day.
Click to expand...

Maybe she identifies as 125lb ?! ;)
 
Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older

#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.
 
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