Tell Your Best Joke
- Thread starter Stizzla
- Start date
ship happens
Well-Known Member
Wonder if plant based plants taste beefy
Capt_Ed
Crew Member
Only if there grown in cow $hit
easydoesit
Active Member
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
Newf
Crew Member
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Toronto scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Ontarian's, in the weeks that followed, a Vancouver archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the Vancouver Province: "BC archaeologists, finding traces of 130-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 30 years earlier than Ontario".
One week later, the Newfoundland telegram in St Johns , reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in St John's , Newfoundland , James Smith, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing at all. James has therefore concluded that 150 years ago, Newfoundland had already gone wireless."
Not to be outdone by the Ontarian's, in the weeks that followed, a Vancouver archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the Vancouver Province: "BC archaeologists, finding traces of 130-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 30 years earlier than Ontario".
One week later, the Newfoundland telegram in St Johns , reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in St John's , Newfoundland , James Smith, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing at all. James has therefore concluded that 150 years ago, Newfoundland had already gone wireless."
Totally unexpected
Well-Known Member
You know what they say is in grizzly scat?....bear spray and whistles!!!
Sharphooks
Well-Known Member
And Patagonia and North Face brand tags.....
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
Sharphooks
Well-Known Member
With Apologies To Any Banjo Players Out There:
A banjo player named Danghead, famous for his sonorous twanging and his daily drug habit, was having drinks with friends. Two of them were discussing the rigors of travel.
“I flew in last night from Dusseldorf,” the fat blonde said, “got home and couldn’t sleep a wink.”
Junie, a taxidermist’s assistant, opened her purse, took out a pale green capsule and held it out. “Here, try one of these," Junie said, "but they’re really strong so just take half.”
Junie pried the capsule apart with her fingernails, spilled some powder on the table, and began fitting it back together to give what was left to her friend.
Danghead, watching in horror, bent across the table and began licking up the discarded pile of powder, his tongue lapping at the old wood table and its sticky residues of beer and cigarette ash. Once he'd ingested every trace of the powder Danghead looked up at Junie with a look of sharp reproval.
“Don’t you know,” he stammered, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, "there are people in Europe who are awake and might need some of this stuff?”
A banjo player named Danghead, famous for his sonorous twanging and his daily drug habit, was having drinks with friends. Two of them were discussing the rigors of travel.
“I flew in last night from Dusseldorf,” the fat blonde said, “got home and couldn’t sleep a wink.”
Junie, a taxidermist’s assistant, opened her purse, took out a pale green capsule and held it out. “Here, try one of these," Junie said, "but they’re really strong so just take half.”
Junie pried the capsule apart with her fingernails, spilled some powder on the table, and began fitting it back together to give what was left to her friend.
Danghead, watching in horror, bent across the table and began licking up the discarded pile of powder, his tongue lapping at the old wood table and its sticky residues of beer and cigarette ash. Once he'd ingested every trace of the powder Danghead looked up at Junie with a look of sharp reproval.
“Don’t you know,” he stammered, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, "there are people in Europe who are awake and might need some of this stuff?”
