There must be an aweful lot of funny fishing stories out there - guided or otherwise. Here's one of my favorites - having the caustic sense of humour that I do:
I'm guiding on a group of about 15 boats or so up in Campbell River (perhaps mid 90's.) At the time I was guiding independently and fished for any number of the local lodges. This particular corporate client moved around a bit (between lodges) and so I've fished the same group 3 times at different places.
A guest that I've fished before gets in my boat (hadn't learned the first time?)- I know he fishes a lot everywhere and has a bit of a "go big or go home" mentality. This was "mid to late" July and I knew that a small bump of large fish should be showing up at a particularly favorite spot any day. So I discuss with the 2 guests that we can go down to where there are a few small fish with everyone else (perhaps catch 1-2 per day at the time) or we can go to this other spot and sit and wait for something large. They are all in for big fish, have to show up the other guys, and so we decide to wait it out.
Two full days go by. Most of the boats are coming in every day with 1-2 Springs 10 - 15 pounds. We have caught perhaps a coho or two. This guys starting to get upset with "our decision." He's being shown up by almost all of the other guys. By the end of day three it's clearly my fault.
He comes down on the final morning and he and his dad (who had joined the rest of the boats and had a couple small Springs for the trip) have arranged to switch guides. His dad gets in my boat. It's the last morning of the trip and the plane is due in by about 10:30. Anyone with my sense of humour already knows the ending.
We go to my favorite spot (not a secret spot, but as has been mentioned elsewhere local knowledge of timing is everything, and this WAS particularily true in areas like Campbell River.) 1st fish 26 lbs, 2nd fish 18 pounds, 3rd fish 21 pounds. We're fishing lightweight Richmake flyrods (8-9 wt) and have spent approximately 2 and a half hours playing these three fish. It's now about 9:45 and we have 1/2 hour for the plane to arrive. Do we risk another fish? Of course. The tide changes and we float through with the new back-eddy set-up.
We hook our final fish in that first drift, it comes straight to the top about 150' from the boat. It's clearly a large fish and fighting it is going to take well over a half hour. But this fish is just laying out there doing a long slow circle around us (Jaws?) No jumping, no runs, just playing dead.
We motor slowly over to it with the guest keeping the line nice and tight (dad was much better on the rod that the son.) I get close enough to land the fish; it still hasn't moved. I take the opportunity, net the fish, and all hell breaks loose. This fish is thrashing all over the net and boat. 4th fish 28lbs.
These two guests caught two of the largest fish for the trip and won whatever pots they had on the go. We return to the dock and people are everwhere. I start tossing the slabs up on the wharf. 30 - 35 yr old Sonny won't even look my way; he storms off the dock.
Morale: The problem with being a guide, is you're only as good as your last tide
Nimo
I'm guiding on a group of about 15 boats or so up in Campbell River (perhaps mid 90's.) At the time I was guiding independently and fished for any number of the local lodges. This particular corporate client moved around a bit (between lodges) and so I've fished the same group 3 times at different places.
A guest that I've fished before gets in my boat (hadn't learned the first time?)- I know he fishes a lot everywhere and has a bit of a "go big or go home" mentality. This was "mid to late" July and I knew that a small bump of large fish should be showing up at a particularly favorite spot any day. So I discuss with the 2 guests that we can go down to where there are a few small fish with everyone else (perhaps catch 1-2 per day at the time) or we can go to this other spot and sit and wait for something large. They are all in for big fish, have to show up the other guys, and so we decide to wait it out.
Two full days go by. Most of the boats are coming in every day with 1-2 Springs 10 - 15 pounds. We have caught perhaps a coho or two. This guys starting to get upset with "our decision." He's being shown up by almost all of the other guys. By the end of day three it's clearly my fault.
He comes down on the final morning and he and his dad (who had joined the rest of the boats and had a couple small Springs for the trip) have arranged to switch guides. His dad gets in my boat. It's the last morning of the trip and the plane is due in by about 10:30. Anyone with my sense of humour already knows the ending.
We go to my favorite spot (not a secret spot, but as has been mentioned elsewhere local knowledge of timing is everything, and this WAS particularily true in areas like Campbell River.) 1st fish 26 lbs, 2nd fish 18 pounds, 3rd fish 21 pounds. We're fishing lightweight Richmake flyrods (8-9 wt) and have spent approximately 2 and a half hours playing these three fish. It's now about 9:45 and we have 1/2 hour for the plane to arrive. Do we risk another fish? Of course. The tide changes and we float through with the new back-eddy set-up.
We hook our final fish in that first drift, it comes straight to the top about 150' from the boat. It's clearly a large fish and fighting it is going to take well over a half hour. But this fish is just laying out there doing a long slow circle around us (Jaws?) No jumping, no runs, just playing dead.
We motor slowly over to it with the guest keeping the line nice and tight (dad was much better on the rod that the son.) I get close enough to land the fish; it still hasn't moved. I take the opportunity, net the fish, and all hell breaks loose. This fish is thrashing all over the net and boat. 4th fish 28lbs.
These two guests caught two of the largest fish for the trip and won whatever pots they had on the go. We return to the dock and people are everwhere. I start tossing the slabs up on the wharf. 30 - 35 yr old Sonny won't even look my way; he storms off the dock.
Morale: The problem with being a guide, is you're only as good as your last tide
Nimo
