Daughter wants to get married...

When my bro got married....My parents paid for booze but there was a cap set. The brides parents paid for food and I am sure there was a cap set there as well. Brides family which was Italian made all the wine....They got a free sound man and carmera man(Family Friends). They paid for the rest. It was a outdoor wedding and a party to follow on site. Done deal.........
 
My daughter's wedding was in 09 back east. I sent money for big tent rental to setup beside lake, bought two kegs moosehead, $$ for DJ, deposit for flowers etc etc. After all this was my only daughter's wedding day. Time off work, flew out there, picking up mom in Ont on the way, $$$ for westjet. Rent car at airport, drive to her hometown, and call her cell phone........it's 24 hrs before the big event...........she drops the bomb.......they just that afternoon cancelled the event.................glad my son already had the beer on ice, we had a heck of a party that night !! Worked out for the best in the long run in my opinion, new bf has more going for him, and they're a better match. Next time, she gets postcard.
 
Most company insurance policies will give you 10 grand for a finger or thumb. loss of a digit is a far better outcome than losing your boat.
 
I'm in exactly the same situation, 'cept she is 27. she is doing the planning, she seems set on spending $30-40K. I certainly can't afford that, won't sell my boat either. I'll help with what I can but...
How do they get convinced to spend that kind of money? I got married 10 years ago for $3500 with 30 guests, she is looking at 175 guests. I feel like my contribution may come as an insult, but holy crap - I'll be paying until I'm 75 for that one and I have another daughter.... I feel your pain Merritboy!
 
$30-40k for 175 people? That is ridiculous! What, are they eating golden plated lobsters? We hosted almost 300 people for the Consultant's Derby at the new Sooke Prestige. The setting on the water was worth a royal wedding! Good food, beer included, live music - 5 piece top notch band. Including $15k donation and all expenses we had less than $40k budget. I am sorry, but that wedding plan of your daughter sounds like a waste of money and it sounds absolutely stupid to spend that much if you had to take loans to pay for that. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I have no understanding for such degree of overinflated expectations and financial risks. And yes, I do have kids too.
 
Getting married is a family affair-designed to put the families acceptance of the pair bond(God I love that expression). You do what you can afford-it is not for one persons gratifacation and the others sides entry into the "poor house". I went through this with both my daughters-one wanted the full meal deal and the other wanted the backyard tent, seafood -pig on a spit etc. Both were carried out on a budget that was reasonable-no I wouldn't pay for limo's -or an open bar-if they thought that was important they could pay for that-suddenly didn't seem so important-but there was a clear understanding of what I would pay for and would not-I had to approve all payments before stuff was agreed to. Girls and mothers can get carried away at a time like this and if you don't know whats been ordered you could get a nasty surprise. The second daughter got a cheque for the difference in cost between the weddings-both thought they had a great wedding-The best party was the farm- pig on a spit-keg of beer and crab wedding. Great party-good luck!
 
Lawman said:
I'm in exactly the same situation, 'cept she is 27. she is doing the planning, she seems set on spending $30-40K. I certainly can't afford that, won't sell my boat either. I'll help with what I can but...
How do they get convinced to spend that kind of money? I got married 10 years ago for $3500 with 30 guests, she is looking at 175 guests. I feel like my contribution may come as an insult, but holy crap - I'll be paying until I'm 75 for that one and I have another daughter.... I feel your pain Merritboy!
Click to expand...

They get these ideas from all of those stupid butt wedding shows on TV.
Say yes to the dress, Rich bride/poor bride, ETC, ETC.

After all, you have to keep up appearances. Or Not!
 
Sell the boat.
Then get a bigger one after the wedding.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Like I said before, she was joking, I hope, lol. I sent this link to her just in case. We have a big yard and can put up tents etc. I still like the idea of Vegas. I totally agree that things have got way out of line over the years. They do seem to want what they see on tv. I think my daughter will be fine though, she knows what is going on, but I remember her mom helping her buy a $400 gown for grad which was worn only for a few hours and has been sitting in the closet every since... lol. Love the input! WILL NOT be selling my boat, her and her boyfriend enjoy the ocean too much!
 
My daughter is six. I better get a better boat now then so that by the time she wants to get married (at 26 or 27) I won't mind selling the boat. Cash from selling a 20 year old boat won't allow for too extravagant/expensive wedding ....its all in the timing !
 
i just got married (27) in April, most unreal wedding I have seen, and it was under 20k. Luckily, we went 1/3 with both sets of parents and us... so wasn't too bad.

We can afford it, and so can the parents, but the thing is... what is within reason for all?
 
I forgot the model of the inexpensive rod I got at the boat show from Outfitters. I usually use a Shimano Talora with Fenwick eyes, but they had a berkley rod, red blank, twin screws on the butt, and fenwick eyes for around 60 dollars at the boat show. Kicked the heck out of it for 5 years and it hasn't missed a beat. A cheap rod is not a problem, but cheap EYES are. Get the rods where they eyes are not just a ring soldered onto the bases, look at a Fenwick and get one with that style of eyes. When I get back I can get you the model number, great cheap rod. Or another great cheap rod is the 6 foot Rhino, around forty bux. Worked like a hot damn untill it took a swim. Also caught my biggest hali on it to boot!
 
Cheap rods and cheap weddings. In the end, they both work. It's just a matter of how much you want to spend.
Interesting comparison LastChance, even if it was a mistake.
 
It's funny how different provinces see events and there costs so differently.
I have been to a few weddings in Quebec and Ontario, 30 to 60 K is "normal".
They even have special halls that are built for weddings.
Some halls can handle 4 wedding receptions at a time.
I know of a couple that their marriage did not last as long as there loan payments.
Been to weddings in SK and AB where family and friends chipped in with labour and dough.
Rent a hall and the aunts cooked the food and the uncles supplied the labour and passed the hat for dough.
For my wedding we paid for everything. We had a budget and stuck to it.
When decisions had to be made we used the golden rule.
He who has the gold rules.

I have a daughter that is still many years away from marriage.
Don't know what I will do when that time comes up.
Will ask friends that have been there for advice.
My first priority is her education as that will last her lifetime.
400 dollar grad dress.... will see about that one.
Refer back to golden rule.

I prefer small town weddings as they seem to be way more fun.
Low budget and a dust up to top the evening.
Home made cabbage rolls and beer, that's what makes life wonderful.
GLG

Sell the boat and buy one 2 foot longer after the wedding.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

CIVANO
I Phone
Replies
2
Views
517
kaelc
kaelc
Dave H
Old Skullcap.....Redux....
Replies
6
Views
1K
Dave H
Dave H
IronNoggin
Rudolf
Replies
1
Views
709
Corey_lax
Corey_lax
IronNoggin
40 Years Now - Where'd They Go?
Replies
17
Views
1K
bryce
bryce
Totally unexpected
Tofino earthquake
Replies
0
Views
732
Totally unexpected
Totally unexpected
Back
Top