Dumb questions at the boat ramp

scott craven

scott craven

Well-Known Member
I'm pretty sure we all get em', here's a couple :

q) Are you going fishing ?
(as we are loading gear rods tackle boxes etc.)
a) nope just taking these rods out for a ride.


q) Did you catch that fish ?
a) nope, it jumped into the boat and i brought it home with me.


q) That's a nice Halibut, are they running now ?
a) this one won't be doing much running after i'm done
with it.

Anybody got any classic's to add ? :D:p
 
Sorry not a boat ramp but.......
A lot of years back (almost 47) i had walked the Maligne River in Jasper Park all the way to the lake from the end of the road, several miles (buses after that i could not afford). Flyfishing all the way and releasing hordes of small Rainbows and Brookies.
Arriving at the lake with great anticipation because i had been told that there were seriously large Trout there, i stared at the beautiful water and wondered, wet or dry fly? Doc Spratly or Muddler? Mosquito or Adams?
A man approached me and i was a bit puzzled at his appearance. Seemed middle aged, had a Flyrod, check, Stetson, huh? Droopy mustache, hmmm.
But the real shock was the stringer of to me GIANT Brookies! Probably each an honest 2-3 lbs! As he drew near i blurted something like OMG! Whered ya get em? He stopped as i ogled the Holy grails on his stringer (too big for his creel), then after a few moments of sizing me up he spoke in a pronounced western drawl.

You wouldn't tell anybody would you boy? No no no i said! wellllll, he smiled then whispered as he reached a finger to the corner of his mouth hooked a finger in and pulling the skin, said, "right here".......
I stood there dumb for a few secs then had begun to silently walk away when he chuckled and said.... wait!
He then proceeded walk me a hundred yards and coach me about the river mouth, the drop off and a Doc Spratly on a sinking tip. The man was an artist with that Flyrod which i had already greedily noted was a classic Orvis Battenkill! He was a master with it and i was in awe. As he left he waved off my profuse thanks saying, i had yer number kid, enjoy LOL

I always wondered about that "Cowboy" and did not resent the joke being on me.
 
How bout the classic client to guide questions? Here is a couple of my favorites. After a long trip to a fishing lodge, "how far 'bove sea level are we up here?"mmmm, or "whats the best time to come to catch the smoked salmon salmon run?"
 
Not at the ramp, but I've taken my share of rookies out. Couple of my favorites.
At cleaning station, was gutting an spring that was plugged with baitfish. Rookie "Oh no! She was going to have babies!"
Dead flat water conditions trolling along. Rookie "What's that white thing in the water?" Looking down, I saw she was referring to the reflection of the con trail of the jet that passed by.
 
On the beach landing our canoe.

Did you catch those fish in this lake?

Nope we brought them with us
 
My favorite asked a couple times over the years. After releasing a few fish for being to small, wrong species, wild etc...we finally get one we can keep. I bonk it hard 2 or 3 times and a few seconds later I get "are we letting that one go or can we keep it?" LOL
 
r.s craven said:
Not meant to be offensive, just looking for something funny to lighten up a Monday.;)
Click to expand...
Me either, just trying to reason some of the stupider questions people ask.
Side of the road. 4 ways on, truck on jack...........guy pulls up along side "Flat Tire" WTF!!!!!!!!!!
 
When being new to Comox Valley and learning the areas and learning to salmon fish, i was guy asking questions at the ramp sorry lol. How is that rod setup, whats that thing? How does that work? Whats that thing on that downrigger? And it was years later when i gain some knowledge, some dude came up to me :) Hey what ya been fishing out their? What Kind of fish is that? and so on. Ramps are fun place i have found in most areas, but you do run into the rare Ahole once in awhile. Thanks for all knowledge over the years see you at the ramp :)
 
Not at the ramp but....

In my past life, I used to check people on the water and one story that comes to mind was when I checked these two guys out fishing off the red can buoy off Comox Harbour. I pulled up beside their 25'+ boat and asked for fish lic and if they had caught anything. The asked me to come on board while they looked for their lic. When they showed me two freshwater lic, I asked where their saltwater ones were. They asked what a salt water lic was and showed me three 16-18" fish swimming in their live well. They said they had caught these three "trout" and had lost two more. I had to stop and take a second look at them to see that they were serious and very proud of their catch. When I told them that they had under size chinook and were fishing in salt water, they did not believe me. They explained that they were in fresh water because to the North of them was Campbell River, which flowed out of the "lake" to the North and the Fraser River drained into the "lake" at Vancouver in the south. They were serious and only after I had then taste the water and look at a large map of BC did they finally understand. The "trout" were let go and they motored back in to get the proper lic. They were from Alberta and had rented the boat from Des Sound Yacht Charters

I have seen a lot of funny stuff while doing that job, but that was one of the best....

Cheers

SS
 
How about the American beside me at the fish cleaning bench at Cheanuh; "What kind of fish is this?" Thankfully it was a pink.
 
hooktender68 said:
How bout the classic client to guide questions? Here is a couple of my favorites. After a long trip to a fishing lodge, "how far 'bove sea level are we up here?"mmmm, or "whats the best time to come to catch the smoked salmon salmon run?"
Click to expand...

On the smoked salmon question reply "we usually catch them a couple of years after a big forest fire".
 
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