Hijackers Thread.

TheBigGuy

TheBigGuy

Well-Known Member
Seems like what we need to encourage a little more participation on the site is a hijackers thread. A place where you can post any thought that pops into your head, without worrying about being told to stop hijacking, or your posting in the wrong forum, or whatever. So let's have at er. What should we toss around today? Alum vs fiberglass, outboard vs inboard, barbless hooks, DFO incompetency, flossing. No topic is too silly or offbeat for this thread. :):D[:eek:)][:0][V]

Hijack away, no reason not to post now, you've got your own special thread.
 
:D:DOK how about why is the sky blue??????? and how high are the clouds???

LOL LOL LOL:D
 
Where is that plane going? How high above sea level are we? Is this fresh water or salt water?(while 10 miles off shore fishing halis).


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Fill the dam tub!
 
Now that's the spirit.

Speaking of spirits, my favs are beer and rum, but then again I don't mind a good glass of port now and then.

But I'm not that particular, any port in a storm. :D :D :D
 
quote:Originally posted by Pippen

I have a problem.[:I]
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Why. have you run out of beer? They have beer & wine stores that are open on Sundays. Not like when I was a young guy, that really sucked.
We had to go to Pt. Roberts to get a beer on Sundays.But I can't really go into to many details or this thread may get yanked before it gets a chance to really get rollin.
 
quote:Originally posted by TheBigGuy

quote:Originally posted by Pippen

I have a problem.[:I]
Click to expand...

Why. have you run out of beer? They have beer & wine stores that are open on Sundays. Not like when I was a young guy, that really sucked.
We had to go to Pt. Roberts to get a beer on Sundays.But I can't really go into too many details or this thread may get yanked before it gets a chance to really get rollin.
Click to expand...
 
quote:Originally posted by TheBigGuy


Why. have you run out of beer? They have beer & wine stores that are open on Sundays. Not like when I was a young guy, that really sucked.
We had to go to Pt. Roberts to get a beer on Sundays.But I can't really go into to many details or this thread may get yanked before it gets a chance to really get rollin.
Click to expand...

You said beer, wine, sucked, 'when I was a young guy' and 'yanked' all in the same post...........thatz awesome! [:p] :D
 
There's some good eats. While were on the subject, another one of my favorite eats is chili. However you might want to read this precautionary tale before consuming too much.

The Chili........

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that
course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had
prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely
going to $h!t yourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful,
which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day
both of your ***** cheeks WILL fall off.



Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of
coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's
Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my
intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning
symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.



Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I
bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often
haunt in search of tasty tidbits.



Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and
began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was
at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me.
Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm
referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the
wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different.



The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a
mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines,
forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one
step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it
happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.



There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a
noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was
afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly,
oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I
began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned
into it.



I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction
would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she
walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different
directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at
least will be able to relate.



I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked
into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible
that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand
there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward
off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me
laugh. Mistake.



Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down',
if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth
from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a
few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the
store and firing off a shotgun.



Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through
the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying
that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.



Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the
inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my *** is
burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle
of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and
disgustedly said, 'Sono$*%#%!', then quickly left.



Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart
intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me
and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears
some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to
run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of
the problem.'



That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The
employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose
and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off
returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted
from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.



Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat
but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to
shop at Krogers. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court
over the whole matter. They claim they're going to have to repaint the
store.. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!
 
The following story is absolutely true and the only reason I will share it is that few on this site actually know me....

In my old life before retiring I was a banker in Alberta and one of my responsibilities was overseeing the Fort McMurray region on a Corporate basis..... (loans from 50MM to 250MM). I made routine flights up pretty much every month and on occasion I would do so for a one hour meeting but be stuck up there for the whole day because of the airlines flight scedules.

On this occasion I had a one hour meeting that was to take place around 10:00 am leaving me with the rest of the day until my flight left around 4:00 pm if memory serves me correctly.

Around 1:00 pm I decided to do lunch, I was really craving Prime Rib however, this is not a meal I like to eat alone so I headed off to the A&W instead.... To sum up my lunch, it consisted of a Papa burger cheese and ONIONS only, an order of ONION rings and a large Root beer drink......... I think you know where this is headed.....

I got to the airport a little early, returned the rental car and proceeded to sit and wait for my flight home. I went through security around 3:00 pm and notice a lot of pressure building waiting for the boarding call. Well finally the boarding call came and I found myself in row 13 which is the row with the emergency exit and an additional 18" of leg room as a result. Pretty much as soon as I sat down, two of the biggest oil workers I ever saw proceeded to sit down in the remaining two seats in the row, affording them some pretty good leg room as well.

Well, If you have ever sat in the exit isle, you will know that one of the Attendants will come and talk to you about what to do in case of an emergency. There could not have been more than 30 people on this mostly empty flight and as it turned out the Flight Attendant knelt in the row of seats infront of me, leaning on the back of the seat and giving me the low down of what to do in an emergency.... At the same time the other Flight Attendants started the safety routine so the Attendant in front of me kind of paused out of courtesy and started listening to her co-workers.

Well, I perceived this as an opportunity to maybe sneak out one "itsy bitsy teenie weenie" one as I thought I was going to pass out from the pressure of my A&W luncheon. DO NOT TRY DOING THIS EVER To make a long story short, I lost control of what felt like 200 lbs. pressure and noise was so intense that the Attendant that was kneeling in the seat in front of me nearly lost her balance pushing back in fright and the Flight Attendant that was in the process of snapping the seat belts above her head, stopped in her tracks and sent a frightened disgusting stare right in my direction.........

Here I am sitting next to the two biggest oilfield workers I have ever seen, with sweat running down the back of my neck. Talk about embarrassing, every eye in the plane was looking where the sonic boom came from.......

Soon the safety thing was over and the plane took off. One of the Attendants went into the cockpit ( to tell the pilots what happened no doubt) and soon the usual greeting from the pilot came on. After the usual flight time/weather in Edmonton routine, he proceeded to state that since the plane was mostly empty, IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHO YOU ARE SITTING NEXT TO, YOU CAN MOVE....... yup you guessed right, the two huge guys sitting next to me got up and moved to some much smaller leg space, just to get away!:D:D

While I am not very fond of Air Canada, I flew with them for the next year as I was concerned I would be recognized on West Jet!

SS

seaswirlstiper.jpg
 
quote:Originally posted by r.s craven

ha ha,:D by the way do you put Spam in your chili ?[}:)]
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No, I think that violates the Geneva Conventions or some such international agreement against WMD's.
 
Good story Striper Sniper, but I bet no Westjet employee would have chased you down to return something you'd left on that flight (like in their commercials).
 
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